(original)
DARLENE: Hello?
TROY: Honey, it's me.
DARLENE: TROY?
TROY: It's me, honey.
DARLENE: My God, the baby's crying.
TROY: I can hear her.
DARLENE: That's our little Krystal.
TROY: How's she doing?
DARLENE: She hasn't been sleeping good, and Mamma had to go back to work, so I'm real, real tired, baby.
TROY: I wish I was there to help, gooney-bird.
DARLENE: Oh, gooney-bird, when are you coming home?
TROY: I'm working on that now, baby.
DARLENE: yo
TROY: sup its me
DARLENE: what troy??
TROY: yeah
DARLENE: frickin hell the babys cryin
TROY: lol ikr
DARLENE: lil baby krystal
TROY: she ok?
DARLENE: shes sleepin rly badly and ma's gone back 2 work, so im hella tired
TROY: damn. wishin i was there
DARLENE: me 2. when u comin home?
TROY: asap
Analysis
Lots of the intimate language has been removed or replaced with colloquialisms, for example: 'Our little Krystal' is intimate because it suggests that the baby is theirs which links them together as people. This has been changed to a casual comment about the baby, severing the link between the characters. It is changed to 'cute lil baby' using abbreviations to make it colloquial. The use of homophonic representation adds to the colloquial effect as it is often used in casual conversations over text and the internet. Though still conveying the same information, the scene loses its effectiveness because of the lack of connection between the characters.
Diary entry - Colloquial to formal
Steven and I walked for a while with Nat - an old friend of mine - until she had to retire for the day. Upon this happenstance it was decided that the two of us should return to my house. Shortly after, Steven had to leave. I did the socially expected (though irritatingly draining) task of walking him to the nearest bus stop. While waiting for the bus I kissed Steven. Alas, I felt nothing but a sharp pang of guilt as he is such a nice boy and I have no feelings toward him whatsoever. Last night I told him how I felt. He was so understanding and this only increased my guilt, I didn't quite know what to say. He assured me it was fine and we made plans to go to the cinema next Saturday. I also received the results for my French General exam today. I scored 31 out of 32, an achievement I am extremely proud of. However, while french was going so well for me, English was not something Claire could focus on. She spent the whole lesson upset. I attempted to console her but it was obvious that only one capable of doing that is Tony.
Analysis
The colloquialisms in the original entry made the text seem vaguely illegible to the casual reader. However, using that register gave the text the feel that it was written without anyone else in mind and that as long as the writer could understand it then that was fine, which fits because that is usually what personal diaries are written for. An example of these colloquialisms is '
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